So How's This Work?

I have no idea how this spill your guts to HR thing works. I know HR said that it would take some time to address the issues raised. I spent Monday with a rictus of a smile on my face, barely communication with my co-workers. Who knows about my meltdown? Does management now consider me a liability? A loose cannon? Disgruntled? Expendable?

I've never had a situation that I ended up taking to HR. If it wasn't something I could work out with my co-workers myself, I just made it a learning experience and moved on. What's different now? Why do I give a rat's ass what happens to this company? Why don't I just quit? It's just a job and I can get a job anywhere. Do I care so much because until recently it was the most fun I've ever had working?

I have no illusion that I'm irreplaceable. No one is. I will say that I'll be hard to replace. When I segued from my career in film to being a stay at home mom, I definitely got great satisfaction out of the fact that they had to hire three people to replace me. One to handle the database administration, one to handle the network administration, and one to do everything else I did. But it was also sort of sad to think that I worked that hard. I missed out on a lot of family time by doing that and working so much turned me into a lunatic alcoholic. But I can feel myself turning into the lunatic again and I sure don't want to go back to drinking so I guess I have to trust that whatever is going to happen will happen and it's in God's hands now.